A Clear Vision
by Evidence
Summary: A fatal helicopter flight leaves Sara and Grissom trying to save their lives and hang on to each other. G/S COMPLETED
1. Default Chapter

Title: A Clear Vision

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 1

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: All right, I'm trying another multi-part chapter story.  I have had this thought in the back of my mind for a while but I finally decided to put it on paper.  This is the set up chapter but if you stick with it, I think you might enjoy it (or at least I hope you will!)  Oh, by the way Hank and Lady Heather don't exist in this story, the Geeks are just having problems on their own.

The silver kit snapped shut and Sara Sidle laced her fingers around the cold handle.  She didn't know why she had to go, why she had to be the one.  Lately Grissom had stopped talking to her almost all together unless it related to a case.  He ignored her, assigned her to work with Warrick or Nick, not him.  He was shutting her out and she wasn't sure why.  Now she would have to spend the next few hours tramping up the side of a mountain with him.  He probably won't talk, she thought.  I'll be alone with him but it will be more painful than romantic.  She sighed briefly and left the locker room.

"Hey, I hear that you've got a db in the mountains."  Nick Stokes smiled casually as he met her in the hall.

"Yeah, a helicopter is going to take us up there to secure the crime scene."

"Us?"

"Grissom is my partner on this."

"Oh," Nick said, smiling brightly.  "You two kids have fun."

Sara signed again.  "He only asked me, Nick because you guys are busy with the court case."

"Keep telling yourself that, Sidle."  He gently slapped her arm with the folder he was holding.

Sara shook her head, knowing she couldn't convince him otherwise and strode down to Grissom's office.  She knocked on it and heard him call her in.

"Sara, why did you knock?  You never knock."  He was sitting behind his desk, papers stringed all over it.

"I didn't want to interrupt you."  She didn't want to say -because I don't feel close to you any more.

"Well, we better get going."  He got up and put his blue Forensic jacket on.  "Do you have everything you need?"

"Yup."

"Okay, then."  Grissom looked like he wanted to say something but instead grabbed his case and walked out.  Sara followed behind.

They drove in silence.  The helicopter was waiting for them.  The pilot called them over.

"Welcome.  I'm Pete I'll be getting you to the crime scene today.  This is Jason and Marie, they are the forest service patrol who will be assisting you."  He pointed to the young man and woman dressed in matching tan outfits.

"Nice to meet you," Sara said noticing that Grissom didn't offer any comments.

They got in the helicopter and Sara took a place next to Grissom.  He took notes out of his pocket and began franticly scribbling.  

Well, this trip sucks, Sara groaned to herself.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Warrick put the mini radio's earphone into his ear.  He needed to find out the third quarter score for the Orangemen.  He had two g's riding on the game.  The waiting room at the courthouse was silent expect for the shrieks of the game crowd filling his right ear.  Catherine was currently on the stand and soon he would be next.  Nick might have to testify later on that day.  

The game was broken into by a national meteorologist proclaiming that "hurricane like" winds were on the radar and that all air travel was discontinued until the wind died down.

A court officer knocked on the door and motioned Warrick with his hand.  Warrick discretely removed the earphone and radio and put them back into his pocket.  It was only when he saw Catherine exiting the courtroom that he came to the realization that Grissom and Sara were suppose to be checking out a db on the mountain.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The wind was wiping the small helicopter back and forth.  Sara felt herself being jostled as she gripped the seat with her hands.  She looked at Grissom who was wearing a puzzled expression.

"What's going on?" she asked never having experienced a ride like this before.

"There's something wrong..."

"With the plane!"  Sara finished her heart pounding in her ears.

He yelled over the racket of the chopper blades.  "No, with the wind.  We shouldn't be up here in this."  He pressed forward in his seat and tapped Pete on the shoulder.  "What's the weather report?"

Pete, ashened faced, turned to him.  "Hurricane like winds, we have to try to land, I can't control her."

The sound of the blades left at the very moment.  There was an eerie silence in its place.  Sara heard Jason mutter, "Oh, God."

The helicopter began a quick descent downward.

"May Day, May Day! 069er falling at an altitude of 350.  We've lost all power.  Our coordinates are 180 degrees West, 40 degrees North.  Do you read me, over."

Sara turned to Grissom who was staring at her.  "Grissom..."

He grasped her hand with his holding it so tight the blood stopped circulating.  "It's okay.  We're going to be fine."  He tried his best to be reassuring.

She realized it then.  She knew she was going to die.  She would never see her parents again, or her friends at CSI.  But she wasn't going to die alone.  She was with Grissom, the man she loved.  She needed to tell him how she felt, how much she cared.  She opened her mouth, "Grissom, I..." The rest of the words were lost as the helicopter smacked into a large tree.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Catherine was pacing on the courthouse lawn, waiting for Warrick.  She saw the Tahoe approach and believed that Nick had been called to testify.  It was Nick but when he got out the SUV she noticed he was not wearing a suit.  He had a black tee and matching jeans on- not proper court attire.  He was wearing sunglasses but his face mirrored his emotions as he walked up to her.  Catherine felt pain in her chest and her mouth go dry.

He stopped right in front of her and in a sorrowful tone spoke, "We were just informed that the helicopter Grissom and Sara were on experienced difficulties in the bad weather.  Radio control lost communication with them.  They believe the chopter crashed and..."  A sob ached at the back of his throat, "and that there are no survivors."

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A Clear Vision

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 2

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews especially seeing I'm so horrible about reading and reviewing stories.  Hopefully soon I'll catch on all the great fiction.  In this chapter we find out what's happened to Sara and Grissom.

Her eyes flickered.  Some light was straining through her half-closed lids.  Familiar smells began filling her nose.  Fragrances of blood, oil, fire, …death.  Sound traveled to her ears.  It took time for her mix-upped mind to translate what it was.  Someone was screaming.  The words were like a foreign language, one that Sara could not figure out at the time.  She tried to fully open her eyes but they wouldn't cooperate.  Thoughts began coming to her brain.

Her name was Sara.  Sara Sidle.  She was a CSI.  She was on a helicopter.  She was with Grissom.  She loved Grissom.  Something had happened with the helicopter.  They had hit something.  She had been trying to say something to Grissom.  What was it?  

Sara felt warmness on her forehead.  She prodded her hand up to the spot.  Something sticky ran over her fingers.  Blood.  It must be blood.

She tried opening her eyes again.  Pushing herself, straining, wanting to just fall asleep.  But I can't, I can't sleep.  Something has happened to the helicopter.  It crashed… that's what happened.  It crashed into a tree.

She could feel her heart beating quicker and suddenly there was great pain in her chest.  Sara finally pried her eyes opened.  They flickered slightly but stayed open.  The scene before her began to take shape.  Marie was screaming.  There was a piece of the plane sticking out of her leg.  Jason was nowhere in sight.  Next to her Grissom laid on the floor of the copter.  Blood was flowing freely from his chest.  His elbow was bent in the opposite direction it should have been.  Sara shifted her body to the floor and crawled with the strength she had to Grissom. 

She placed her shaking fingers to his wrist and felt the beat of his heart.  Her senses were becoming more fully aware, like someone waking up from a long sleep.  She moved forward, her body stiff and looked into Marie's eyes.  Marie was still screaming and piece of the copter's propeller was protruding out of her upper leg.  Sara could see the opening now in the top of the copter.  The propeller had pushed through and ran into Marie's leg and…a piece of hit was hanging directly next to where Grissom laid.  Sara gulped.  That would explain the blood.  

Finding her voice Sara said to Marie, "I'll help you, hold on."

The screams did not subside.  Sara stood up on wobbly legs and looked into the cockpit where Pete had been.  Now the tree trunk was pushed against smashing everything in sight, including Pete.  Sara closed her eyes briefly.  You can't lose it, they need you now.  You're okay, you can do this.  It was the type of manta she used frequently in her job.  

Sara noticed then that the copter's door was missing.  Great gusts of wind were coming in, shaking the small aircraft.  Carefully she moved to the open space and looked out.  Jason was lying on the ground with the door, dead.  They were suspended on a branch of the huge tree, about 20 feet in the air.  The helicopter would not stay like this for long, soon it would be on the ground in a million pieces and Sara needed to make sure they were no longer in it.  She could manage the climb down the tree; there were enough sturdy branches.  But how was she to get Grissom and Marie down?  She would have to try to carry them.

Which one first to take.  Marie was the most critically injured but there was Grissom…how could she leave Grissom?  What would he do?  She thought.  Leave me up here if our roles were reversed.  Not because he didn't care about me but because he would follow procedure.  

Sara looked at Marie.  "We are in a tree, Marie can you hear me?"  The screaming subsided.  "I have to carry you down."  Sara put her arm around the woman's back and pulled her forward.  Luckily the copter blade was only attached to her leg.  Careful not to hit it and cause more damage, Sara heaved the woman over her shoulder.  Marie was about 6 inches shorter than Sara and had a small figure.  Sara moved out of the copter and to the first branch.

The task was time consuming and painful.  From one branch to another like a monkey.  Like a monkey carrying a heavy load.  Sara didn't know how she was going to get Grissom down.

Slowly letting Marie to the green ground, Sara looked up at the helicopter beginning to wobble in the trees.  "Grissom…" she spoke in slow horror.  "I'll be back,' she said to Marie but the woman was in too much pain to care.

Sara reached for a branch of the tree and pulled herself up.  Her stomach jostled with a sharp pain.  Damn!  She pulled herself up higher in the tree.  The helicopter was shifting from the strong winds barrowing through it.  Sara was holding on with her own might, afraid that the wind would soon place her on the ground.  She reached the copter and jumped inside.  The aircraft lurched.  Sara quickly ran to Grissom and grabbed  under his arms.  Somehow she was able to pull him to the place where the copter door had been.

"Hold on," she said, looking out to the tree, planning her next move.

"Sara…" she heard him choke, his eyes opening slowly.

The wind bombarded them once more and before Sara could figure out what to the do the helicopter was falling- with them in it.

To be continued… 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: A Clear Vision

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 3

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews- I writing as fast as I can!  The chapter starts out with the others but does have G and S if you hold on.  Hope you enjoy.

"Hello, this is CSI division of the Las Vegas police department.  How can I help you?"  Before Judy, secretary to the division, could receive a reply, the phone was yanked from her hand.  "Hey, I…"

"Judy, I have something more important for you to do."  Catherine Willows was leaning over her, a strange expression in her eyes.

"What?" Judy asked gulping slightly.

"Call rescue ops and tell them that they are under orders to have CSI in on the investigation."

"Um, Catherine I can't do that…you don't have the authority."

"Grissom may be died, I have the authority Judy."  Looking down at the nice woman, Catherine closed her eyes.  What are you doing?  You're taking out your anger at Judy.  "Judy, I'm sorry I'm just upset.  I need to be part of this investigation.  Nick and Warrick need to do this, too.  It's…"

"Closure?"  Judy finished for her.

Catherine shook her head.  "Yes, if we are ever to move on, we have to know what happened to them."

"I'll see what I can do."  Judy patted Catherine's hand.

"Thank you."

Catherine began walking away but Judy's voice made her stop.  "Catherine, you said that Grissom might be alive.  Do you think they could have survived a crash like that?"

Catherine put on her best poker face and faked an unwavering voice.  "Sure, anything's possible."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Warrick pulled the tie off he was wearing and threw it in his open locker.  The suit coat also went in a heap on the bottom of the metal closet.  He looked at the piece of paper taped in his locker, the paper he had been trying to avoid.  It was there staring into him as it always did.  It was his manta, he repeated to himself each and every day.  After the fiasco with Holly Gribbs, Grissom had sat him down in his office one day and wrote something on a piece of note book paper.

"Here," Grissom had said, handing him the sheet.  "Live by that, and you'll be okay."

Grissom was gone but the paper remained echoing in Grissom's voice.  It read: "You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time."  It was a quote by Abraham Lincoln.  Grissom had added to the end of it: "Don't try to please me, or Nick, or Sara or Catherine.  Try to do what you know is right.  We have faith in you."  

Coming from Grissom, the quote and paper meant even more.  Warrick understand that Grissom did not like to be emotional with people but with one piece of paper he had told Warrick his feelings about Warrick and his situation.  Warrick had then known he had a good friend in Griss.  

Looking at the paper now, Warrick felt tears coming to his eyes.  He knew what was right to do at this time- find out what happened to Grissom and Sara.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Grissom was awake fully now as the rush of air swept over them and the ground began soon to approach. The helicopter was on a downward descent. He formed a thought in his head and with all the strength he could muster yelled, "Sara, jump now, you might make it."

The copter was nearly to the ground, about 8 feet away, as Sara grabbed hold of him and jumped with him.

Grissom felt his shoulder bash into what was usually soft earth.  He let out a scream.  

The helicopter hit the ground at the same time, throwing off chunks of it into the air.  A fireball was forming between the oil and a spark that had occurred.  

"Grissom?"  Sara looked into his eyes.  When she jumped somehow Grissom had gotten underneath her and reaped the full extent of the impact.  "Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."  Tears came rushing down but she knew she was still alive and so was Grissom.

The explosion behind her made her take notice.  She turned to see the helicopter become one large bomb.  Instinct took over and she pulled Grissom up from the ground.  Somehow she managed to run and drag him with her.  His legs were trying to work as he chocked back screams.  She saw a gully and ran for it just making it before flames licked the part of earth they had been standing on.

Sara gently laid Grissom down on the soft earth.  "I need to see how badly you're hurt."

He nodded his head.  Words were escaping him.  

She put his hand in hers and felt the fingers.  All intact, none broken.  She moved her hand up his left arm reaching the shoulder that met the earth.  He whimpered slightly.  The bone had been shattered.  He would need surgery to correct it.  She cupped his face into her hands and looked in his eyes.  The glasses were broken but his eyes were alert.  Moving her hands around his head, she checked for bumps.  She had to remind herself that Grissom was hurt, and that this wasn't for fun.  She removed the glasses and moved on to the other arm.

The elbow was out of the socket.  "Grissom, I have to…"

"Do it." He whispered.

She got into position and holding down his arm put the elbow back into place.

He bit his lips to keep the scream hidden.

"Grissom, your lips are bleeding," She said taking the helm of her shirt and dabbing them.

"Yeah," he choked back.

She continued her probe gently picking up his blood soaked shirt.  "I need to see the wound.  I think that the helicopter's blade might have slashed into you as it fell into the roof of the copter."

"Go ahead."

Part of the blue plaid material was already ripped.  Undoing the rest of the buttons, Sara opened up the shirt.  Grissom's chest was opened and still bleeding.  The blade hadn't penetrated any vital organs it seemed.  But the slash was about two inches deep and five inches long.  More blood streamed out from the open wound.  Sara put her hand on top of it to stop it.

"You really should be wearing gloves."

Sara smirked at him.  "Ah, our kits are somewhere in that plane wreckage.  You'll have to hope I don't give you anything."

"I'm not too worried."  He managed a smile.

Removing her coat, Sara gently lifted Grissom's body up and swung the coat around so that she had made a huge bandage for his chest.  "This should help the bleeding."

"Thank you."  He had spoken more words to her in the last few minutes than he had over the course of several weeks.  It was weird how a tragedy could change things.

"I need to go check on Marie."  Sara motioned to where she had left her.  "I'll be back."

Grissom nodded his head and watched her walk off.  Except for a minor head wound she seemed fine.  Thank God.

Marie was lying a few feet from the fire eyes darting back and forth.  

"I'm here."  Sara said kneeling beside her.  "I'm sorry, I had to check on Grissom."

 Sara looked down at Marie's leg; she wasn't sure what she could do for her.  Marie's eyes were glazing over.  Her head began to shake.  Foam formed at her mouth.  Her whole body began going up and down.

"Fuck!  Marie, its okay, you're having a seizure."  Sara held on to her head.  Blood began coming from her mouth.  "Damn it, she bite her tongue."  Sara looked at Marie's wounded leg; the helicopter piece was being pushed further into her leg.  

Soon everything stopped.  The movement, the blood, Marie's breathing.

"No, no.  You're not going to die on me, Marie."  Sara's voiced reached a fevered pitch.  There was no pulse.  Sara began CPR.  1-2-3-4-5-breath, 1-2-3-4-5-breath.  Time passed without any motion of life from Marie.  Sara closed her eyelids with shaking fingers and walked back to where Grissom lay.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Catherine!"

Catherine turned to see Judy nearly running down the hall.

"The rescue squad is on its way to the crash site."  Judy stopped, her breathing labored from the exertion.

"Good."  Catherine did not meet her eyes.

"They will allow you to go with them."

Catherine's eyes brightened up.  "Excellent.  Thank you, Judy.  I'm sorry about being a pain earlier."

"That's okay, you're upset.  We all are."  Judy smiled and went back to her desk.

Catherine stopped at the breakroom where Nick and Warrick were sitting.  "Guys, do you want to come to the crash site?  The rescue squad is allowing us to go."

"Definitely,"  Nick said standing up.

Warrick nodded.  "Let's at least bring their bodies home."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Grissom noticed Sara's changed demeanor the moment she got back.  "What's wrong?"

Chocking back tears Sara sat down and told him about Marie.

"You did all you could do.  She was too seriously hurt.  It's time to move on."

"That's easy for you to say." She spat back at him.

Confusion took over his face.  "What?"

"You move on easily when you don't want to deal with something…or someone."  Bitterness crept into her voice.

Words failed him.  Was she taking about herself?  

"Rescue will find us soon.  I need to take a walk."  Sara stood up.

"Please, Sara, don't leave.  Don't leave me." He couldn't hide the fear in his voice.

"It's funny, you need me now but the rest of the time…"  She looked at the ground.  "Don't worry I'll be back soon."

He watched her figure head into the woods.  He gulped.  He needed her not just because of his injuries, he just needed her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The trees were green and bountiful.  The air spelled like sweet perfume.  Sara let the tears fall as she walked.  Why was this happening?  Why did anyone have to die?  Why couldn't she save Marie?  She kicked a stone that boomeranged off a tree.  Grissom is being his usual self.  How can you love that man?

She walked a little further and then felt the great pain in her chest again.  She looked down at her shirt.  It was tighter on her than it had been when she put it on that morning.  Pulling up the shirt, she looked at herself.  A gulp formed, her heart raced.  "Oh, God," she said gripped by the reality that she might be the next to die.

To be continued…(You'll find out what's wrong with Sara.)


	4. Chapter 4

Title: A Clear Vision

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 4

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: The original chapter four cannot be accessed on my disc so I had to rewrite the whole thing!  That's why this update is so late.

Grissom couldn't move.  His arms were painful to lift.  His legs felt like jelly.  His breathing felt labored to him due to his chest injury.  His greatest fear was not worrying about his physical self but wondering if Sara would return.  He had angered her and she had stormed off.  He knew deep down that she would return, how could she not?  But after all that he just went through, reason and common sense were taking a back seat.  

He saw her then leaving the area she had entered.  She looked more distressed than before.  Sara knelt down beside him.  Her face was ashen and tears had dried up on her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked, his heart race increasing.

"Nothing," she shrugged off his question but Sara Sidle was not good at lying.

"Tell me," he focused on her eyes but she turned away from him.  "Sara, please, I want to know what's wrong."

She looked into the ocean of his eyes and sighed.  Pulling up her shirt, she revealed her stomach.  It was swollen, a strange reddish/purple/black color.

"Sara…" Grissom breathed.

"I'm going to die, Grissom."  She was straightforward as she said it by Grissom could hear the tears in her voice.

"No, you're not."  He said it more conviction than he felt.

"The swollenness, the color, the pain, I have internal bleeding.  Either one of my organs was hurt in the crash or an artery has been cut.  It doesn't matter what it is, I'm still going to die."  Sara ran her hands through her tousled hair.

Grissom swallowed and searched for the right words.  "You don't know that.  Even though the signs indicate internal bleeding it might be something else, something minor.  Don't give up, you're made it this far."

She shook her head.  "You're right.  I don't want to have a pity party, I have made it this far."  A small smile crept at her mouth.  "Gosh, I was able to transport both Marie and you out of the helicopter."

"Quite a feet for a dead woman walking."  Grissom tried a small smile, too.

"What is that old expression…"

"The best laid plans of mice and men."  Grissom finished for her.

"Yeah…" Sara started.  "How can you read my mind?"

"I don't know I just do."  He felt the yearning to say more.

Sara moved to a sitting position.  "If I am bleeding, I won't have much time."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that."

"Just let me finish."  She breathed in deeply.  "If the rescue crew does not get here quickly I'll probably be on the doc's table in the morning."  The thought sent a chill through her.  "So first there is something I have to tell you…"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Lt. Riller?"

The man in the green jumpsuit turned abruptly around.  "Yes?"

"I'm Catherine Willows.  This is Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown; we are members of the crime lab.  We have been given clearance to go with you on the rescue mission."  She pointed to the two men standing behind her.

"Yes, I heard that you barged your way into this rescue op."  A grimace showed on his face.

Nick spoke, "Sir, we need to take part in this mission.  We are CSIs trained to handle crime scenes like this one."

Riller sighed.  "The jumpsuits are in the cabinet in the hall.  You have five minutes and then we're leaving."

"He's a fun guy," Warrick commented when he was out of earshot.  

"He just doesn't want his job interrupted.  I don't blame him.  If the shoe was on the other foot we would feel the same way."  Catherine grabbed the jumpsuit she would wear, "Let's change and find out what happened to Grissom and Sara."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two helicopters took off.  The winds were still strong but not deadly like before.  Catherine and Nick rode with Lt. Riller in one while Warrick was a member of the crew of the second.  Nick tapped his shoes on the floor of the copter.  Catherine gazed outside the window hoping that they would be found alive.  

"I was just thinking of my last conversation with Griss," Nick began.  "I was asking him why he was ignoring Sara."

"What did he say?"  Catherine's interest grew.

"He didn't say anything, just concentrated on the papers in front of him."

Catherine shook her head and turned back to the window.  Grissom had missed the chance to find true happiness.  For whatever reason he never would admit his feelings for Sara although it was oblivious to everyone else around.  He had let opportunity after opportunity pass him by until the relationship between them had become strained.  Sara had done nothing to really help the situation either.  They were the perfect couple: two workaholics who closed off their feelings to each other.  Two lost souls that were begging for the true love in front of them.  Two people who had connected in a spiritual manner but withheld the vocal and physical.  They were quite the pair.  Catherine smiled to herself.  At least they died together.  Together in death, forever.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The wind whipped at the helicopter Warrick was sitting in.  To think it had been stronger when they were up here, Warrick shook his head at that thought.  He hoped that their deaths had been quick and one idea brought a smile to his face: finding them hand in hand, still alive.

There was noise up front in the cockpit.  Warrick tuned his ears to listen.  Something about turning back?  Could that be possible?  The co-pilot turned around and spoke to Warrick, "The mission has been aborted."

"What?  We have to find them!"  

"I'm sorry but the winds are still too severe and…"

"And what?  Tell me."  Warrick bored his eyes into the other man's until he flinched.

"Alright, we are have reports that a huge fireball is in the same location that we lost contact with the helicopter.  The helicopter must have exploded on contact, there is nothing left of them.  In a few hours when the winds die down we'll go back to the scene.  But right now we can't risk people's lives searching for a crew that is deceased.  I'm sorry."

Warrick slummed back in the seat and closed his eyes.  Confirmation even without the bodies.  God, there was nothing left of them.  He rubbed his head trying not to think about Sara and Grissom but the memories flooded in.  The helicopter turned back around heading in the direction it had come.  The only sounds heard were the wind and the blades.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Grissom smiled at Sara.  "Thank you for telling me that."  

"Is that all you're going to say?"  She felt sweaty and nervous.

"I…what do you want me to say?"

Sara bit at her lip.  "Grissom, I tell you I have feelings for you and all you can say is "Thank you", what the hell is that?"

"Well, it's always nice to know someone cares…"

"You are the biggest…never mind."

Grissom closed his eyes.  Gil, she might die, tell her how you feel.  He was a man that could do so much but couldn't bring himself to let anyone in.  It was the greatest obstacle for him to overcome and so far he hadn't done it.

"Why have you been ignoring me lately?"  Sara asked, her voice beginning to tremble.

"I…it's just…easier."

"Easier?"

"Easier than talking to you or seeing you."

"That makes no sense."

"It's easier…" Come on Gil, just say it.  "It's easier than trying to pretend."

"Pretend?"

"Please, don't interrupt.  It's easier to ignore you than pretend, then pretend I don't have feelings for you."  It was out, the statement that he held inside for so long.  He had been scared to admit it before but now that he had a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  Grissom warmly looked into Sara's eyes that were crystallized with droplets of tears.  "I've been keeping you at a distance lately because I knew if I didn't I would tell you how I felt."

"Why didn't you want to tell me?"  She said it softly, her anger at him gone.

He paused before answering, trying to gain some more air in his lungs.  "Everything would change.  Sara, nothing lasts forever.  I don't want to lose the friendship we have."

"You might find something better than friendship."  She smiled.

"If it doesn't last than I'm left with nothing."

"Well, our relationship right now has been on the nothing scale.  Isn't it better to love and be loved, than to never be loved at all?"  Sara was thankful that although her chest was hurting more her brain was still in tact to pull quotes out of the air.

Grissom thought for a moment.  "Why haven't you ever pressed the issue before?  Use words to tell me your feelings?"

"Gee, weren't my actions enough?"  She smiled but grabbed onto the ground as pain seized her.

"Are you alright?"  He wanted to jump up and help her but his body was no use.

"Fine.  Just had a pain for a second."  She had felt warm since their conversation had begun but had tried to concentrate on other matters.  Now though an inferno was slowly rising in her gut.

Grissom knew she was growing more ill as the time passed.  What did he have to lose?  Sadly Sara probably wouldn't survive.  He would be lost without her.  No Sidle smile.  No fellow workaholic.  No one who truly understood him.  The least he could do was say those three magic words that had been on his tongue numerous times but that he never let escape.  That way if she died, she would know that caring about him wasn't in vein.

"Sara, would you hold me hand?"

"Sure."  Confusion was written on her face but she held on to his right hand, the arm that had the dislocated elbow.  "How does you're elbow feel?"

"Not great but I'll live."  He regretted saying those words the minute they came out.  

Sara looked down at the ground and breathed deeply.  She felt like her insides were boiling.  Suddenly she couldn't see straight.  Her mind was spinning and it felt like her body was, too.  She thought she heard Grissom say her name but it could have been a figment of her imagination.  Weird shapes began dancing in front of her eyes and her nerves felt like they were jumping out of her skin.

Grissom watched in horror as Sara let go of his hand and slumped to the ground beside him.

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

Title: A Clear Vision

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 5

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Thanks again for the reviews, especially because they come from writers I admire!  Yes there will be more cliffhangers- can't help myself.

The pain was massive but Grissom moved his body closer to Sara's.  Her color was gone replaced with a mass of snow- white paler that framed her face.  Sweat had formed in small droplets on her forehead.

"Sara, I'm here."  He couldn't stop his voice from shaking.  He used his right arm, the one he could move, to wipe the sweat from her head.  "Hold on."

"Grissom," her voice was beginning to falter.  She closed her eyes.  She was on some speeding roller coaster heading to death.  She felt strangely removed from her body as if she was watching the scene from above.  "I don't think I can hold on."

Grissom picked up her head with his right arm and brought it so it was touching his own.  "You can hold on to me."  Tears streamed down his face wetting hers.  He was going to lose her.  This was worse than not being friends because a relationship ended; he would never see her again.  "I'm sorry, Sara."  He held her tight to him, praying for the first time in years.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"I'm telling you now, just let us off here!"  Catherine Willows's voice had reached a fevered pitch.

Lt. Riller pointed a finger at her.  "Damn it, I told you we are turning around, the winds are too severe."

"Turn around, that's fine, but let Mr. Stokes and myself off."

"Do you want me to just drop you off?  Fine, jump.  Good luck."

"You ass, you know darn well what I'm saying."  Catherine was not about to take this crap.

"They're dead, get that in your head!"  He spat back.

"Gee, I thought rescue workers never gave up.  Guess I was wrong you're just a bunch of wimps scared of the wind."

Suppressing a word, Lt. Riller yelled to the pilot, "Head to the crash zone."

"But sir…"

"That's an order!"  He turned so he didn't have to look at the CSIs.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sara's breathing had been raspy for quite some time but then suddenly it stopped all together.

"God, Sara, no!"  Grissom began blowing air into her mouth.  He couldn't perform CPR correctly with his shattered shoulder.

Memories filled his head:  Sara at work, flirting with him, meeting her at a seminar so many years before, seeing her smile.  He had a clear vision of what he should have done.  He should have told her how he felt.  He should have held her in his arms.  He had been afraid to lose her, to get hurt.  Now he was experiencing the worst pain of all- losing someone you love to the Grim Reaper.  

A whirling sound filled his ears.  Grissom could see a helicopter approaching.  They were saved.  Would Sara survive?

"Do you see anything?" Nick asked, his vision obstructed by the smoke.

"It is a fireball."  Catherine put her hand to her head.

"We'll land and check out the area.  Chopper 2 with your pal is on its way."  Riller yelled back at them.

The helicopter found a nice grassy patch of land to set itself.  The crew members left the craft.

Nick and Catherine walked forward a few feet when they saw two familiar figures.  "It's them!  Over here!"  Catherine yelled as the whole rescue crew ran for the two survivors.

"God, Griss," Nick said, the first to reach them.  His face was a mixture of joy and shock.  "Sara?"

"She's not breathing."  Grissom looked up at Nick.

The EMTs quickly went to work giving her CPR and then oxygen.  Grissom watched in despair.  Catherine was saying something to him but he couldn't comprehend the words.  Warrick's helicopter landed and joined the party.

"Griss, man you're okay."  Warrick shook his head.  "Man, I thought you two were goners."

"Sara's not good, Warrick."  Grissom looked at Warrick.  "I don't know if she'll make it."

"Who said something like: "The moderns of the medical world are miracles waiting to happen."  He was doing his best to keep Grissom's spirits raised.

"I don't know," Grissom said, his mind a throbbing, cluttered mess.  This was what life was like without Sara: confusing, empty, deprived of meaning.

The EMTs carefully lifted Sara onto a stretcher.  She was breathing on her own but her eyes were still closed.

"Sara?"  Grissom called to her but no response was given.

Grissom watched as they took her away to one of the helicopters.  Catherine rode with her acting as the mother figure.

"Sir, we are going to assess your injuries and then Mr. Brown and Mr. Stokes will occupy you to the hospital, okay?"

He thought he shook his head, "yes".

"Where there any other survivors?"  Lt Riller asked.

"No, only Sara and myself.  Marie, Jason and the pilot are all deceased."  He kept his vision trained on the helicopter that was disappearing out of sight.

Nick and Warrick helped the EMTs load him into the helicopter on a stretcher that resembled Sara's.    One EMT kept asking him about his pain.  But you can't take a pill when you're broken hearted.  Soon with an image of Sara in his head, he felt himself drift away.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Grissom woke up some time later in a hospital bed, tubes attached to him.  It seemed like a hospital, that familiar vinegar order with a side order of death.  His eyes focused on the two figures sitting in chairs beside his bed.

"Catherine, Jim…" he managed to say.

"Hey, Gil, you're going to be fine."  Brass reassured with a slight smile.

"You've been out for a few hours but they fixed your chest wound and after some surgery your shoulder will heal.  The elbow is back into place perfectly."  Catherine pulled the blankets up closer to his chin.

"How's Sara?"  

Brass and Catherine exchanged a look.  

"Oh, God what happened…"

To be continued…


	6. Chapter 6

Title: A Clear Vision

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 6

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Thanks again for the reviews.  This has been fun to write and soon it will be done (which seems the hardest part of any story- the ending).  There is not a real cliffhanger this time.  Hope you enjoy!

He felt almost woozy like he was on a moving ship.  Something was wrong, wrong with Sara.  He could read it in the expression that occurred between Catherine and Jim.  This couldn't be happening, it had to be some awful dream.  

Catherine sighed.  "Sara had to have her spleen removed."

"She can leave without a spleen."  His heart was still racing his chest.

"Yes, I know but right now she's…"  Catherine started and then stopped looking to Jim to continue.

Jim Brass rubbed his temple.  "Sara's in CCU, Gil.  The doctors lost her at one point but got her heart beating again.  Right now they are not sure she'll survive the night.  Her spleen is gone but her other organs are not functioning up to par.  The doctors are afraid they might give out."

Grissom took a minute to digest the information.  "I need to see her."

"They won't let us in, they are not going to let you be wheeled into there right now," Catherine said softly.

"I need to be with her."

"Gil, it's not possible."  Catherine sighed.

"Get my doctor, I want to see Sara."  Anger was ebbing in his throat although he didn't mean to direct it at Brass and Catherine.  Sara was ill, she needed him and the hospital was interfering.

"I'll get him," Jim left the same hospital room.

"She has to know I care, Catherine."  Grissom looked into his old friend's eyes.  "Maybe if she knows I do she'll fight, she'll get well."

Gosh, he sounds so naïve, Catherine thought.  The odds were against Sara but Grissom was willing to place bets on her recovery.  He was in love.  "She knows Grissom.  Sara knows you love her."

"I never said it."  Tears were forming at his eyes.

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words."

"I've never shown her my love."  

Catherine thought for a moment.  "Yeah, you have only it has been subtle.  A little moment here and there."

"I should have done more."

"Yeah, you both should have."  Catherine managed a small smile.

"Well, Mr. Grissom I hear you have a special request."  A man with dark, short hair entered the room with Brass.  "I'm Doctor Trad.  I worked on Ms. Sidle."

Grissom nodded his head.

"I'm afraid you cannot see her right now, only immediate family.  Her parents have been contacted and they will be able to visit her.  You need to worry about getting better, not your colleague."

"She's not my colleague, she's my…"  What was she really?  Was there a word to describe how their relationship was right now?

"I'm sorry Mr. Grissom but I have to deny your request."  He left abruptly most likely not wanting an argument.

"You heard the doc.  Now Cath and I will leave you so you can get some rest."  Brass motioned to Catherine.

"I was just sleeping, Jim."  Grissom could not hide his anger.  He was being denied the one thing he had just realized he needed to feel whole.  

Nick strode in, a big grin on his face.  "You're awake, great!"

Catherine mouthed, "Leave now."

Nick ignored her.  "You look upset, gee and there I told Sara you were fine."

"What?"  Three heads turned to look at Nick.

"I kinda lied and told the doctor I was her brother, you know we look similar, so he let me see her."

"Nick…" Grissom felt a swell of admiration for the young man.

"I told the doctor that I was coming for a surprise visit when I got word about the crash.  He bought it hook, line and sinker."  Nick winked at Catherine who shook her head.

"How she is?"  Grissom asked.

Nick's grin disappeared.  "Well, she looks like hell and she's not conscious yet but I sat with her a minute and talked to her."

"Experts say that does help."  Catherine nodded her head at Grissom.  "See, Nick has seen Sara so you don't have to worry about her anymore."

"I still worry Catherine."  He spoke to Nick.  "Is she breathing on her own?"

Nick kicked at his right heal with his other boot.  "No, she's hooked up to a breathing machine."

"Well, that's common after losing an organ."  Catherine was hoping to allay some of Grissom's concerns.

"She's not doing that well."  Grissom pushed his head back into the soft pillow and stared up at the ceiling.  "You guys can leave, I do need my rest."

"Okay, we'll be back to check on you."  Catherine lightly touched his hand. 

"Get better."  Brass waved as he headed out.

"Nick?"  Grissom called.

"Yeah, Griss."  Nick turned back into the room.

"Would you do me a favor?"

"Okay…"

"Would you go see Sara again and tell her…tell her..."  Grissom struggled for the right words.  What should he say, how should he say it.  "Tell her that I'm waiting for her.  I'm waiting for her to wake up.  Okay, would you do that?"  

Nick could see Grissom was trying still to hold something back: tears probably.  It was odd to see so much emotion in the usually reserved supervisor.  He had changed, Sara had changed him.  "Of course I will.  I'll go tell her that now."

"Thank you."  Grissom let his eyes close picturing Sara at the crash site.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Grateful of his charm, Nick was allowed by a young nurse to see "Sister Sara" again.  He agreed to only stay a minute and gave her a big smile.  

"Hey," He said.  He pulled a chair over to her bed and took a seat.  "It's Nick again.  The doctor won't let anybody in only your brother.  Don't tell anyone but I am now your brother, okay?  So shhh on that."  He paused looking at the pale face that at the moment hardly resembled Sara.

"I've got a message for you from Grissom.  He wanted me to tell you that he is waiting for you to get well."  Nick stopped and thought about the last conversation he had with Griss before the crash.  How Grissom ignored his question involving Sara.  If Sara made it, things had to change.  He may be making the wrong decision but at least someone was doing something to progress this relationship along.

"Sara, Grissom loves you.  He didn't have to say it in words, it is written over the emotions that are clouding his face.  He's scared to death he's going to lose you.  Fight, come back to us.  Come back to Grissom.  See what happens, take the risk.  Sara just don't give up.  If anyone can survive this and come out stronger it's you.  Grissom is waiting for you.  Don't let him wait forever."

He got up and put a hand to her cheek; she was ice cold.  Suppressing his own tears he left the CCU.  He missed seeing the slight movement of her thumb.  Down in the depths of a watery dream, Sara had heard what he had said and she was determined to open her eyes.  It would take great effort but she wasn't giving up, not now, not when everything she ever wanted was in front of her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  

The monitor blinked and beeped.  The nurse who was stationed at the front desk quickly reached her.  "Ms. Sidle?" she asked looking into the now open eyes, "You are at a hospital.  The helicopter crashed that you were on.  I'm just going to call for your doctor, okay?"

Sara managed to blink her eyes twice.

"Very good!  I'll be right back."  She hurried off her pink jacket flapping in the breeze.

Sara's mind began to sharpen.  She could hear the breathing tube acting like her lungs, she could see the darken room she was in.  It was like she had awakened from a dream.  She had dreamt that Nick was visiting and he was telling her something important.  She couldn't remember what it was.  The dream was fading away quickly.

Dr. Trad entered the room and turned on a bright light.  Sara's eyes became half slits.

"Well, hello, glad to have you back with us." He checkered her vitals and explained about losing her spleen.  He didn't mention the fact that he thought he would get a call that night saying that she was dead.  Instead miracle of miracles she was alert.  "I need to pull out your breathing tube, your lungs are working fine now."  He pulled out the long tube causing a coughing fit in his patient.  "It's okay that is a normal reaction."

Sara gained her composer as quickly as she could and sought to use her voice.  "Grissom."  It was an effort but it came out.

Dr. Trad was taken back.  "Oh, yes your friend.  He is in stable condition and is doing quite well.  Soon he will be out of the hospital."

Sara nodded and closed her eyes thanking God.

Dr. Trad didn't linger around much longer and Sara was glad.  She needed time to piece together all that happened.  She was content knowing that Grissom was all right, she couldn't stand losing him like that.  Sara fell back to sleep and watched her dream unfold again.  That was when she heard what Nick had said about how Grissom felt.  She awakened quickly and still holding on to the precious dream or now as she knew it to be- a memory, she buzzed the nurse.

"Yes?"  The nurse asked.

"Phone.  Let me…talk to Grissom."

To be continued…


	7. Chapter 7

Title: A Clear Vision 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 7

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Well this is the last chapters.  Thank you for the reviews and I hope you like the ending- its kind of sugary but I like sugary when it involves G&S.

There was a ringing sound.  A ringing sound in his ears.  It was coming from somewhere.  He tried to gather his thoughts, to wake from his slumber.  Slowly his eyes opened.  The room was dark.  Not his bedroom, a hospital room.  The ringing continued.  The phone, it's the phone.  Who's calling me?  I must be dreaming.  Still the phone was persistent.  

Grissom reached over and grabbed with his hand.  Pain shot up his injured arm.  "Hello," he managed to choke into the phone.

There was breathing on the other end.

"Hello," he repeated.

"Grissom."  

Sara?  How could it be?  She was unconscious, lying in a hospital bed.  Nick had seen her, he had said that.

"Grissom," the voice repeated, soft and shaky but unmistakable.

"Sara?  Oh, God, Sara?"

"Hey," she said seeming to catch her breath.  "Are you…okay?"

He wasn't sure if she paused because she didn't want to ask or if speaking was just a struggle.  "I'm okay.  Nick said…you're doing okay, too."  

"Yeah."

"I'll come and see you as soon as they let me."  A nurse could be heard in the background telling her she needed to get off.  "You have to go, that's fine, I'll see you soon."

"Grissom…I…"

He finished the thought for her.  "I know I …love you, too."  He heard the nurse take the phone and hang it up.  He hung up his own.  Pushing back into the pillow he watched the ceiling and a spider climbing on it.  It was tired looking but it kept moving trying to get from one end of the room to the other.  He felt like he was that spider and the relationship he had with Sara was the room.  Only instead of being slow and cautious he had taken a giant leap and reached the end.  Grissom never felt happier.  Sara was alive, she knew how he felt.  

"Come on little guy," he spoke to the spider.  "You can make it, don't give up."  He watched until the spider too had reached the end of the room.  Then he fell asleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The phone aroused him from his slumber.  The pills were taking effect when he grabbed it off the receiver, he felt no pain.  The room was bright with the mid- morning light.  His doctor, Dr. Grant, had already checked him and told him the good news- in a few days he could check himself out of the hospital as long as he stayed with someone.  Warrick had offered and he gladly took him up on his offer.  While Gil Grissom was fiercely independent, he knew when he needed help.

"Hello," he said into the phone.

"Hi," the voice was stronger.

"Hi yourself.  How do you feel?"

"Better.  I can speak in complete sentences."  He could hear a small laugh from Sara.

"Glad you can do that again, it's a prerequisite for being a CSI."  He smiled wishing she could see it.

"Have you seen your doctor yet?" she asked.

"Yes, a little while ago.  He told me I could leave soon."  A tinge of sadness changed the meaning of his words.  He would be able to leave but Sara wouldn't.  Her recovery would take weeks.  

"Gee, what do you like it here?"  Sara laughed and chocked.

"Be careful.  Your not strong enough yet to take part of any big discussions."  Grissom knew Sara would read between his words so that he wouldn't have to come out and say it.

"Okay, we'll talk later about…us. Bye."  She hung up but he could hear the smile in her voice.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Ready to go, Griss?"  Warrick asked throwing Grissom's bag over his arm and putting his hands on the man's wheelchair.

"Yeah but first I have to visit Sara."  He looked up at Warrick.

"Today's the day that everyone can start seeing her.  Man, it's amazing she was near death but she pulled out of it.  Now she is in a regular room in stable condition."  Warrick shook his head.  "The girl's a good luck charm, I should bring her to the Black Jack table one day."

Grissom made a grimace.

"I was just saying."  Warrick cleared his throat.  "Lets go see Sara."

"Her parents are going home today to fix some things at the Inn and then they'll be back once Sara is released."  Grissom had talked to Sara twice a day since the crash.  To think that a few weeks before he hadn't spoken to her more than a few words.  My, how a tragedy puts a new spin on things.

Sara's room was private seeing she still had a risk of infection.  Warrick and Grissom were given green smocks to put on.  Grissom felt his heart lift as Warrick wheeled him into the room.  Her color was almost back to normal and she wore a bright smile.  She was sitting up in bed, waiting for him.

"Hey," she said.

Grissom smiled back.

Warrick wheeled him close to the bed.  "I let you two have some privacy."  He closed the door behind him.

Sara looked Grissom over- he looked good.  His face was slightly drawn but color had risen in his cheeks since he entered the room.  His left arm, the one with the shattered shoulder, was in a sling but his other arm was free.  

Grissom held onto her hand.  "You'll be out of here soon."

"I can't complain, I'm alive."  And with you she thought.

"Do you feel like talking now?"  Grissom asked.

Sara furrowed her brows.  "About what?"

Grissom seemed surprised.  "About us."

"Oh, yeah, yes, I want to talk about us.  I'm sorry, my brain is a little slow lately."  She grinned.

Grissom inhaled.  You've already said the magical words, Gil.  Now you need to put the spices in the sauce.  Tell her that, that will win her over, he thought sarcastically.  The image of the spider he saw a few days ago popped into his mind.  "I have a story to tell you."

"A story?"  Was he just being confusing or was she just not understanding, she thought.

"Just listen, it will make sense in a minute."  He paused and then started.  "Once there was a spider.  He was a very smart spider about …things but not about other…spiders.  He didn't know how to relate to them.  So he went through life on his own.  He got use to that.  He liked his life.  Then one day he meets this other spider, this female spider…"

"Hope she's not a black widow." Sara grinned.

"Would you let me finish."

"Go on."

"Anyways he meets this lady spider.  She's so much like him and so different from him at the same time.  He never wanted to hang around with the other spiders until he meant this spider.  Now he goes through days when he can't be without her, when he doesn't feel complete."

Sara swallowed.

"He gets scared.  He puts distance between them.  He can't relay on someone else…something else; he's not use to that.  They grow apart.  Then one day a terrible thing happens.  The web the spiders have built falls.  He gets hurt along with his lady spider.  She almost dies.  He realizes then now much she means to him and how foolish he has been."

Sara felt the tears raining down on her cheeks.  Grissom let go of her hand to wipe them.

"The spider realizes that pushing her away wasn't helping him, it was only hurting him more."

"What did the spider do?"  Sara asked.

"He told the lady spider now he felt.  He told her he loved her and couldn't live without her.  He held on to her and never let her go."

"That's a great story."  She couldn't stop her lips from quivering. "What happened next?" 

"Well, what always happens at the end of a fairy tale?  They lived happily ever after."  He bent over and kissed her lips. 

The end. 


End file.
